I don't want to hear your birth story...

I don't want to hear your birth story...

Why do women see a beautiful growing belly and feel compelled to tell Mary Bloggs about the fourth degree tear they got? That's right Mary I was torn vagina to asshole. OKay stranger that's too much information.

Can HypnoBirthing® help with a VBAC?

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A VBAC is a vaginal birth after Cesarean. In the absence of special circumstances it should be achievable for a the majority of Mama's who have had a Casarean. However you should go into your birth with a lot more tools in your tool kit. HypnoBirthing® can add to your tool kit in many ways.

HypnoBirthing® involves a lot of demystifying child birth and releasing any fears you may have. If you had an emergency Cesarean due to circumstances that happened during birth you may have specific fears around the labouring process that need to be released and healed so you can move forward to a beautiful experience next time around.   

The HypnoBIrthing® International program I teach dedicates a session to choosing care givers and talking to them to receive the best outcome for yourself and your baby. Sadly a lot of woman feel that care givers contributed to the circumstances that led to their Cesarean birth. Getting educated on choosing the right care giver and working with them for your birth will help contribute to you having your ideal birth.  *As always when I talk about about care givers please call me for a chat before you choose yours and I'm happy to talk to help you make the right choice. 

The breathing techniques taught during the program will help you relax and work with your labouring body. They will give you the confidence to trust your body to go with the process and the knowledge that what you are doing is working. 

I also teach your partner the above and techniques to help you manage any pain or discomfort you might feel during labour. Early labour may benefit from light touch massage while late stages may require acupressure, thoughtful birth positioning or traditional rebozo techniques to bring you comfort or move a stubborn baby. They will also have the confidence to see you through a very powerful birthing experience after a Cesarean. 

If you think HypnoBirthing® is for you please give me a call or send me a message. I would love to answer any questions you might have. 

How to heal from a traumatic birth

If your birth did not go as planned you should seek out some help as early as possible. I really do mean as early as possible. Asking your GP for a referral to a counselor at your one week or six week postpartum check is the perfect thing to do. You can talk it out while it is still fresh and avoid those conversations that will end with '...but you are healthy and baby are healthy'. Healthy is a state of mind and a state of body.

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This comes with a caveat that unless you come across this article you may not even think about this in those early, sleepless, new born days. You may be back at work and finally have some head space to examine your feelings around this. You might be thinking of conceiving again or the pain of difficult birth may not reappear again until you are pregnant. If this is the case I want you to know it is not too late. And most importantly if you had heard those comments above from people that don't quite understand I want you to know that your feelings are valid and you deserve peace around this. 

Counselling with a certified psychologist is definitely the best place to start. You need to be heard in a safe space without any judgement. While the quality of care given will have significantly impacted on your experience you also need to find your own part in the birth - it may have been misplaced trust or passive acceptance. It is not that you need to carry a burden of guilt in accepting a role in a traumatic birth but a way to empower yourself to change something for a better experience if you are having more children. For example if you trusted the wrong OB then you can do more research and ask more questions for a subsequent pregnancy so you can have an outcome you want. 

The most important thing to remember is that your feelings about the experience is valid. That 'healthy baby / healthy Mama at any cost' is not a healthy mindset and does  not account for mental health which is just as important as physical health.  Any experience during birth or condition after birth that makes you feel less than whole should be heard and healed.