No bad option for birthing

I am lucky enough to be supported online by a beautiful bunch of Mama's that live close by and all birthed more or less in the same month as me. We shared our fears or joys our birth stories - good and bad. We bolstered each other up when breast feeding was hard and supported each other if breast feeding became bottle feeding. I love these women whole heartedly even though I rarely get to see them in person because we all became the Mama's we are today together. 


The other day a Mama in this group was advised her VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) was a bad idea medically. She was devastated. Her ideal birth was a vaginal birth and it just wasn't going to happen. But worse than her feelings of grief that she won't be getting the birth experience that she wants was the feeling that she was failing herself and child because instead of pushing a watermelon out her hoo ha she was having a watermelon cut out through her stomach.


And I got angry! Not at her but at our societies current judgmental bullshit that makes a woman feel like less for choosing a medically sound option to birth her baby. This judgement happens over all facets of motherhood and I don't know if it was always this way and social media is sprinkling that shit everywhere or if the platform of social media makes people say some stupid, stupid things. 


My personal birthing experience was so amazing, so beautiful and I was in so much control I walked out of the hospital feeling like Wonder Woman (granted I was walking like a cowboy). This is how every woman should feel after birthing. Especially if medical interventions are involved. Because if they are required the Mama has a choice. Not all hospitals make it seem that way which is why these three questions below are so important to ask : 

1. Is the baby in danger?

2. Am I in danger? 

3. What are the consequences of doing nothing?

Even in an emergency situation if the Mama is conscious there is time to ask these questions and have them answered. So file these away Mama because they are relevant to every single decision of your medical care during pregnancy and birth. From the medication you might need for reflux to the type of birth you have. You have the control and you can start to take back that control with these questions. Because knowledge is power. 


An empowered birth is a beautiful birth.